Its not an unusual thing for lesbian couples to pick a new surname for themselves.
why yall having a war in the comments? its a silly meme about last names, who the actual fuck cares?
Because their entire poltical and world view is based on identity politics. They cannot simply say “that joke sucked” and move on, they have to make it into yet another virtue signalling exercise and lecture everyone else because that is the behaviour they associate with being a “good person”.
Probably anyone who ever gotten any pressure about handling last-names after marriage might care. It’s definitely something that some people care about, and some people cop flack for their decision.
The joke is just a joke, but the problem is that this joke punches down. That’s generally poor form.
if you are getting “punched down” (aka offended) by a joke posted on lemmy, by a random guy, you should realize that it is simply not that deep
yeah i didnt get any pressure about handling last names, so you might say “you just dont get it” but when i go to linuxmemes and see a meme about a distro i use, i dont go to comments and start a war about it bc it is just a fucking meme, same concept
if you are getting “punched down” (aka offended) by a joke posted on lemmy, by a random guy, you should realize that it is simply not that deep
I think you’ve misunderstood what punching down means. It has nothing to do with being offended. It’s about the relationship between the person telling the joke and the subject of the joke. For example, it’s generally fine for anyone to make jokes mocking rich people; but its not ok to make jokes mocking poor people unless you yourself are very obviously a poor person.
People online do not understand jokes. I refuse to believe anyone in real life would be this dense.
In real life people would see this lol and move on, on the internet they write dissertations about some BS to virtue signal to other strangers how enlightened they are… 🙄
Truth Social is a better fit for y’all
Technicallly, it is still of her father.
with no ill will for you, OP, genuinely fuck this boomer ass “joke”
a woman’s name is her name. she lives with it for 1 lifetime, absolutely no longer than her grandfather does. “male” is not somehow the default human identity. stop trying to enforce that standard.
Love the little respectful preamble you put there, can we make that internet discussion standard plz.?
u mad?
in my friend group we have a guy we describe as “default {name}”, in order to differentiate him from the other {name}s in the group. He’s a cisgender heterosexual white christian male (a rarity among us). Mostly it’s a joke, because we all agree that being mildly offensive is kinda funny, but it’s also a commentary on society at large. If you’re online talking to people you know nothing about, it’s a safe assumption (christian less and less as the years go by though).
It is absolutely ok to not be “default settings”. You’re not doing anything wrong by not confirming to that standard. I didn’t decide what default is, I learned it by observing society.
appreciate your insight! i fully agree with everything except perhaps:
You’re not doing anything wrong by not confirming to that standard.
still a correct statement on its own, but needs the clarification that it’s not chill to mock or hamper the efforts of that “Othered” community to subvert or reclaim their repression. while it’s certainly not wrong for a woman to conform to the patrilineal system, it’s not chill to “gotcha”-laugh at this woman for using the same name she and her mother have owned their whole lives.
it’s a very Rush Limbaugh-esque “you claim to he a feminist, yet you live under the forces and histories of the patriarchy, curious 🧐” joke, in that it’s not wrong, it’s just intensely and obviously comes from a place of ignorant disrespect.
I think the point of the joke might be more that an attempt to start a matrilineal naming scheme is foiled somewhat from the fact that the maiden name of the mother is derived from her father, i.e. you can’t escape that the last names all come from patrilineal sources for generations.
… just pass on the mother’s name to your children? Eventually it matters as much as that your ancestor was a smith. (and that’s besides the “not everyone wants to lose their name on marrying” point)
If a woman is committed to the idea, she could break the patrilineal naming convention simply by creating herself a new last name, and encouraging her children to take that name instead of their father’s.
yes, though I think a naming system like this isn’t an individual act as much as occurs on the level of social norms and rules; a single individual won’t introduce a competing matrilineal naming system just by convincing her children into it…
Either way, I somewhat agree with the criticism of the joke that the last name coming from a patrilineal origin isn’t a gotcha, though maybe that’s actually the point of the meme since Homelander is the one posing it as a gotcha (and he’s a villain, so it would make sense to symbolize a misogynist with him). The name would still be inherited in a matrilineal way even if it started as a patrilineal name further up the chain.
I guess there is a question of whether the name’s origin matters at all when we are concerned with the patriarchial nature of a practice where women lose their family names and men don’t. That practice being disrupted is what matters, not what the actual name is.
This is true, but who decided that a woman keeping her maiden name is just using her father’s name? That idea comes from patriarchy. If I inherit something at birth, like a rare coin, it’s mine, whether it came from my mom or dad. The same goes for a woman’s name—it’s hers because she’s had it since birth. Suggesting she doesn’t own it, and must create a new name to escape, reinforces the idea that only patrilineal identity matters and undermines her autonomy in making that choice.
The important part is that it is her choice to do so or not. My suggestion is just one possible solution that could be used by those who choose to do so. I’m not pretending that it’s the only solution, nor am I pretending that it’s even the best solution.
love it :)
…yeah? exactly what i said? i don’t disagree at all except you possibly ignore that the butt of the joke is the woman, normalizing the very repression she attempts to subvert. it’s undermining and mocking the woman’s identity intentionally by asserting the dominance of patriarchal schemes over her own life and decision. (perhaps unintentionally, but nevertheless really.)
in America, historically Black names are also historically dominated by historical slavery and white supremacy (different functions, but the end result of subjugation is parallel). i would post a similar comment hating on a post mocking Black folk for resisting these patterns as well! :)
Lol a lot of people don’t like this realization
Isn’t it funny how a simple fact actually bothers people
No one is off-put by the realization. Just the attitude the post represents.
Today I learned that facts are viewed through the lens of an attitude
The amount of high horses in the shitpost community is much more than expected.
What attitude is that?
mostly laughing at women it seems
I forgot we can only laugh at men. Sorry everyone.
That character IS laughable, in all fairness.
Aren’t almost all the characters in that show awful?
Yup. She’s particularly bad, imo, because she keeps validating the crazy guy. She takes a bunch of drugs so she can lactate, because Homelander likes breastfeeding because he killed his mom during birth.
Scratching my head trying to figure out how an undeniale fact is somehow a condemnation of women.
pointing out how someone’s mother’s last name is just their grandfather’s last name ignores the point the person was trying to make in favour of going “well akschually”.
a woman who feels more connected with her mother and prefers her last name over her father’s last name has made that decision based on her emotions associated with her family relationships. And it was a choice she had to make against the default way surnames are given.
people rarely do things like going through lengthy legal processes to get the necessary paperwork to change your last name for shit and giggles. Instead of “well askchanelyling” people’s choices, think a bit on why they made that particular choice, or you could also ask them
“Haha women weak patriarchy STRONK”
I guess. That’s not how i saw it.
It’s more that it’s kinda missing the point. Everything is something else if you try hard enough but in this case the intention behind it is to honour the mother instead of the mother and that’s still working fine.
Its a fucking shit post. Release the pearls.
You literally commented first.
Looks like somebody doesn’t like the consequences of their actions. Poor baby.
What in the hell are you talking about? What consequences? Yeah i know you responded to me. And I told you its a shitpost, stop clenching your pearls.
Why am i explaining this very simple interaction?
Yikes.
Lol this person has some imaginary conversation going on
They are one of the best imaginary pearl clutchers on Lemmy while never getting that they are being an asshole too.
/father ?
Fixed it haha
???
???!
I’m noes! People are doing things I didn’t agree to again.
Notice they didn’t use ‘maiden name’ because then the joke falls apart
You mean their father’s last name?
Does the bank ever ask you for your mother’s father’s last name as opposed to her maiden name? Sounds like a scene from a wes anderson film.
I assume they did mean “maiden name”, how else does the joke make sense? The mom’s maiden name is the maternal grandfather’s last name …
Homelander has the best guy resting bitch face I’ve ever seen.
When people get married they should come up with a completely new last name for them both.
No thanks. I don’t care what my hypothetical spouse wants to do with their last name but I’m not changing mine. Sounds like a pain in the ass.
It is a pain in the ass, a burden that is put on the woman. Men don’t even have to consider changing their last name if they don’t want to, (straight, married) women have to consider if they will betray expectations by not taking her husband’s last name.
My wife and I actually did this, sort of. Not a completely new name, but we took her grandmother’s name, rather than either of ours. Or, her great grandfather’s name, I suppose.
Introducing Mr and Mrs. KoboldCoterie!
A coworker of mine did this. He and his new wife took parts of their last names and blended them together to create a unique new last name for both of them.
That’s very cool, i like that
I hope it wasn’t a tragedeigh
We should use uuids
our beautiful baby boy Robert 3de2d34e-a089-4a5a-acd8-b00d7c7eb07a
Oh yeah, little Bobby 3d we call him
I mean it’s not far off from Musk’s X AE ZigZag VII Advent Children and Kkkopernicus Diceware Password kids.
came here to make this exact comment, was delighted it already exists XD
Calm down Enoch Root
UUID me daddy
I identify myself as a ULID.
There’s even a website cataloguing them all! https://everyuuid.com/
A lot of last names here are frozen patronyms (e.g. at some point some dude named Hans had kids; now there are lots of people calling themselves his son, Hansen) or place names. I kinda like the place name bit: Just give kids last names to a place they have a connection to. Where they were born or conceived or something.
Dragon Rider The Bathroom At The Roller Rink
🎤 My name is chika-chika Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Where they were born or conceived or something.
“Hi there, Mr. Dumpsterbach.”
“London”: Not too bad, works ok.
“Climax”: …
“Tallahassee”: Pretty frickin’ awesome as a nickname but not sure formally.
“Syracuse”: I syr-acuse that of sounding dumb.
But regardless, besides all the “Von” or “De” or whatever names I’m willing to bet that modified or old spelling last names based on places are totally a thing that we also just decided to stop doing.
Yeah, like the -berg names (e.g. Stoltenberg), it’s likely the family farm if you go far enough back. My family has a name that’s an island and the settlement on it. Taking a profile picture next to the town sign that’s also our last name is pretty common (for a name of a few hundred people).
Certainly in the long past your last name was probably derived from the town or area that you lived in. I don’t think it would work today.
Conceived? You really want to be named after the motel your daddy did a big cummy in your mommy’s pussy?
That last sentence is cursed.
If you say so, Ms. Motel 6.
Are you familiar with the Paris Hilton?
It’s tacky, but let’s be honest, that’s the least tacky thing about her.
I think she gets a pass for the last name seeing as the hotels are named after her family and not the other way around.
Not sure if she was conceived in Paris. I’ll ask her next time I’m having a three-way again with her and your mom.
You’d end up with lots of people in each area having the same name.
And we do! The most common name in the Netherlands translates to “the Frisian”.
Also jobs. Lots of millers, smiths and hunters etc
Ironically no one had the last name of “prostitute” or “harlot”
I, John Prostitute, am offended by this.
Better than Whorson at least.
coughHookercough
The job was named after Joseph Hooker
Sorry, but unfortunately I got interested and followed your link:
There is a popular legend that “hooker” as a slang term for a prostitute is derived from his last name[26] because of parties and a lack of military discipline at his headquarters near the Murder Bay district of Washington, DC. Some versions of the legend claim that the band of prostitutes that followed his division was derisively referred to as “General Hooker’s Army” or “Hooker’s Brigade”.[27] However, the term “hooker” was used in print as early as 1845, years before Hooker was a public figure,[28] and is likely derived from the concentration of prostitutes around the shipyards and ferry terminal of the Corlear’s Hook area of Manhattan in the early to middle 19th century, who came to be referred to as “hookers”.
lack of military discipline at his headquarters near the Murder Bay district
To be fair, he could probably have chosen a better place to set up…
The only reason I wouldn’t want to take my partner’s name, or have the partner take mine, is the same reason I wouldn’t want to blend. It’s just a headache to make sure everything is changed. It’s why you see a lot of people who published research before their marriage continue to publish under the same name even if they changed their name. It’s a major hassle.
Sure it’s a headache. So why does the woman have to do it? I think either keep your names as is or both people change.
My wife was made fun of for her last name until she was like 25 (her social group sucked), so she was delighted to changed her name when I asked her if we were going to use mine or hers. I still don’t entirely mind changing mine or keeping it: I’d gotten a few public works built around town and one of them was named after me, and if I took her name the chances of getting them to change the name of that shelter were fuck all. You can only be the center of the universe for so long. So it just kind of worked out for both of us.
I think either keep your names as is
Uh… that was exactly what I said…
So why does the woman have to do it?
And that was exactly what I was saying I wouldn’t do…
In Germany the current government had the idea (but never follow through on it) to allow a married couple to form a new last name based on their last names. Funnily enough the article mentions that this meshing of names is already possible and getting more popular in the USA and Great Britain.
Terrible idea. People clearly already struggling at naming kids. Coming up with a family name will be endless letters making the wrong sound, random sections being ‘silent’, so many puns or references to things, corporate advertising “oh it’s the X.com family!”… Terrible, just terrible.
We could always do what Iceland does.
I’m sure that will scale up to much larger populations without issues.
Are you saying that the people who came up with the original surnames are more qualified than people today? At least with my idea when people come up with a new name they have to use it themselves, rather than their defenseless children.
Holy comment section batman
I’m pretty sure only people on the internet argue about this. No one actually cares what other’s do with their last name after marriage.
This post has 2017 reddit vibes. Not in a good way either.
People literally change their names because they feel like it, so I’m sure people do care outside the Internet, specially in circumstances of abuse.
Well, reddit turned to shit around 2014, so the fact it still sucked around 2017 can’t be a surprise?
People definitely care, but not about which side of the family or if it comes from mommy or daddy. Most people just want an “original” name.
Jokes on you, my dad took my mom’s name
Your dad took your mother’s dads name.
Turns out it was her middle name.
not just his name, but his DNA too!
It’s a shit post, I’ll give you that.
Sorry OP but this kinda gives “EPIC: WOKE FEMINAZI OWNED ON CAMERA” vibes.
It’s one of those posts that IS funny, but makes OP’s viewpoint ambiguous. And if this was reddit and then incels come out of the woodwork to support the meme.
Yeah… it can be interpreted that way. But even as a feminist myself, it is a dumb performative sort of protest. Paternal surnames are the least important fixtures of our patriarchal society, and, unless it was created wholecloth, there are no surnames that aren’t patriarchal historical lyrics, as the meme points out.
Yeah, I wasn’t trying to call you a misogynist, just point out how the meme might look at first glance.
Wasn’t my post, just advocating for OP
oh, right
If they think their actions are having much effect, sure, but otherwise I think you’re making assumptions and overreacting. Not everything is for show, people can do things like that just because they personally want to.
The context of the meme implied she was doing it because she’s a feminist and that taking her mother’s name was somehow an expression of that. Of course she can do that, but it isn’t achieving anything if that was the goal
Okay, and? Why is your immediate thought to mock that?
I didn’t mock it. The meme did.
she is achieving and asserting herself, a right that is denied to her on most every other level.
names are symbols. taking ownership of your name may not be material, but it is meaningful. if names were meaningless, trans people wouldn’t change their names, African-American communities wouldn’t change their names, et cetera. but they do, and feminists do, because achieving oneself, having domain over oneself even to the extent of identity, is meaningful especially against a history where that right is restricted against you in favor of the dominant class.
Sure. It would be personally meaningful. Changing your name is always meaningful, I would hope. But it is not contributing to the the dismantling of the patriarchal norms. Not every action has to be, of course. But the conceit of this post is implied to be that her intention was just that, a rejection of patriarchal naming conventions. If that was her intention, it was misguided and failed to achieve that goal.
you take a conservative (lowercase c) approach to the concept more than i do, and that’s fine.
but from a holistic perspective, the very fact that we have this conversation proves my position. the symbols stand for something. they promote dialogue and awareness of patriarchal repression by subverting it. little girls can look to the woman who takes her own name and derive conviction of self worth and autonomy.
none of this means that taking one’s name is the ultimate be-all feminist act, but i just take issue with your characterization of it being “dumb performative.” i encourage you, as a self-proclaimed feminist, to reconsider heaping that kind of abuse onto people just extending their reach to where generations before was impossible. at worst you appear to be recentering patriarchal narratives, at best you’re being mean.
That’s the point, but satirically. The fact that homelander is the second frame immediately means the take is bad.
I don’t think that’s obvious to anyone who hasn’t watched that movie/series/whatever. At least it wasn’t obvious to me, because I don’t know that guy.
Sweet child… The amount of people who don’t see homelander is scary
on reddit, sure. on lemmy?
Lemmy is no better than Reddit in terms of sexism and media literacy
!lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world in particular has a weird propensity to anti-feminism that i don’t see elsewhere. i’ll get about 60% downvotes on this comment just as everywhere else in this thread just for saying so lol
something about the old school “relax librul it’s called dark humor” mindset is specially present here
Good point! But I also never saw it. Just know it from the comics and the news.
Also, the amount of people who don’t GET homeowner is scary…
Yeah, those homeowners and their… *checks notes Homes!
Homelander is acting in character in this meme but Firecracker certainly is not.
OP’s comments don’t seem very satyrical :')
this lol. i would not be in this comment section if OP wasn’t obviously taking the side of homelander here. if there was ever satire in the post it was lost as soon as OP got their hands on it.
Not so sure. It may just as well be that OP thinks Homelander is the cool guy and the meme is meant unironically. Their comments here suggest that and their posts are mostly comprised of golf and borderline sexist / boomer jokes
I think that’s the intention, but in an ironic/satirical fashion.
I already had you tagged as “insane misandrist”, thanks for the confirmation lmao.
