supertroll
Why does he need to drink a concoction of deadly microbes? Is he trying to be a “super spreader”?
I guess to prove he doesn’t need to be insured against wiping out all of humanity with a global pandemic?
Superman steps into highway traffic. Cars swerve and crash around him. A truck jack-knifes around him like a fulcrum and explodes into itself. A school bus crammed with children plows headfirst into his chest and comes to an immediate halt. Superman turns around a fixes you with a knowing smile.
Car insurance salesman: “Y-you’ve proven it, Superman… you’ve proven it…”
Superman dives headfirst into the lava plug of a supervolcano, the impact causing the plug to crack and crumble, releasing thousands of years of volcanic pressure. Lava spews miles into the air, the caldera itself collapsing as, after thousands of years of erosion, the plug was the only thing still holding it up. The lava runs like oil on water, engulfing everything it touches. No one is safe, no one survives. Children scream as their flesh melts. Lovers hold one another as the ash smothers them alive. Pets asphyxiate from the toxic gasses. Vehicles melt. Homes burn. The cloud of ash ascends to the heavens and God weeps as volcanic winter sets in; causing famine and mass starvation as crops can no longer grow under the limited sunlight and frigid temperatures. A mass extinction event is triggered. Half of the extant species die as the perpetual winter disrupts their natural food chains and causes them to starve or freeze. Superman climbs out of the volcano to face his challenger, somehow miraculously still standing in the midst of the chaos. He puts on his most charming, charismatic grin.
Home insurance salesman: “Y-you’ve proven it, Superman… you’ve proven it…”
Chocolate soda…?
I’d guess kind of like an egg cream, which is a drink containing neither eggs nor cream.
Incidentally, if you want a drink made with eggs and cream, get eggnog.
It’s a thing. There’s a reason you don’t see it very often anymore, though.
A Superman endorsement of, “hey, it’s better than a mug of every deadly microbe,” sealed its fate.
I don’t know, if you get it from an old fashioned soda fountain sort of place, it really isn’t too bad. I just think it’s one of those things that probably isn’t all that good when mass-produced.
I once tried to carbonate my own chocolate soda by putting a yoo-hoo through the knock off soda stream.
The results were… Well, I don’t use the words “made of Satan’s smegma” lightly, but I imagine that’s about what it’s like.
I did enjoy the one I got at the old school pharmacy soda fountain, though. That was good.
Adding the spicy tang of carbonation to chocolate milk takes a very special mind.
I thought it would maybe be like a chocolate soda since yoo-hoo is basically just water and chocolate syrup
I tried it once. Never again.
Assuming the word spreads, he probably saves more time by doing this than by saying no to a million insurance agents.
It’s just… some of those are airborne. If it’s every deadly microbe.
Yeah, but that’s not HIS problem.
Until you get recombinants with his Kryptonian gut flora and he farts out the Andromeda Strain
Until you get recombinants with his Kryptonian gut flora and he farts out the Andromeda Strain
Pure poetry.
Something to consider - does every insurance policy sold in Metropolis come with an ‘Act of Superheroism’ clause?
I have a pitcher of that too. I should really clean the fridge.
Drink it!
