Sounds like she is making a “joke” in poor taste while also fishing for your take on the things she is joking about.
or perhaps it’s something sexual. Power imbalance Idk.
Sounds like a scene from Get Out lol.
Definitely just put one of my eyebrows through the ceiling.
I have a fleeting suspicion that this girl now thinks, because of her own action, she can do this to you now as well. OP, be careful what you share with her because ruining someones life is an option in her book…
First, 100% a red flag. Even if they wanted to give some sort of “I trust you with my life” sort of video, there’s a bunch of better ways to do it. Going for a racist rant makes me think that they’re a racist.
Secondly, this is deeply submissive - they’re giving you the power to ruin their life. If you want to do that sort of stuff as a couple you should really talk about it first and be on board with receiving that sort of power and responsibility. Entirely possible+reasonable for the receiver to find this shitty because they don’t want to make a choice like this, especially if these are truly held beliefs.
The healthy response to this is to send them to a therapist. And definitely dump them if they’re actually racist.
Subby racist? She clearly wants the colored dick “forced” on her
I don’t see how someone could do a racist rant and not be racist. That it is a rant is an important word here.
Have you never heard of acting?
Where’s the leverage if it’s a performance?
I can (and have, many times) dropped a hard-r for comedic effect, even around my black friends, as they have the context to know that I’m not actually the kind of person to use that word normally
If I was recorded and shared to the internet doing so free of context, I would be labelled as a racist shithead immediately and forever
Is that the situation here? It is not.
Everyone wanting to give the benefit of the doubt here gives racists room to exist.
That’s how I read it, yes. But we obviously don’t have enough context to say whether the GF is actually racist or just pretending to be as a crazy trust exercise. I’m taking it as a crazy trust exercise because that’s the only way this could fit any definition of “romantic.”
You asked, I answered
Don’t like the answers, don’t ask the questions
At least we’ve established that you enable racists.
I bet if you tried hard enough you could come up with one
Ok. What’s yours?
I think taking any random problem and putting blame on a group of people would be racist. I could spruce it up with the term “nipper” or “kike” and most people would find it racist
I suppose you just don’t find anything racist if you can’t come up with it
I supposed you just don’t find anything racist
I am arguing the exact opposite.
You’re saying a non-racist person couldn’t say anything racist
The only way to argue that is if they don’t know what is racist
Not even if you were an actor?
Wait for another hack on a cloud service then put it online and claim ignorance.
ummmm…
A red flag.
Sharing dangerous ideas with somebody to show that you think they are safe is an honest signal of trust, but only if the dangerous ideas are genuine.
Someone who attempts to buy trust disingenuously is not to be trusted.
Someone who thinks in terms of kompromat and manipulation is dangerous to be around.
ITT: Everyone taking a shitpost from reddit posted to Funny@sh.itjust.works seriously
Also: both romantic and a red flag
Nah, if it was real they’re either fucked in the head about romance or feeling them out with deniability. Just a red flag in superposition between different warnings.
Plus you’ll note there isn’t anything in there about not believing what she said. Just the nonsense about trust.
It’s a twisted romantic gesture. I like it. Being partners in crime strengthens the bond between two people.
Yeah but why racism? She could say something illegal like “I plan on killing (person’s name”
I think the comment that says she is fishing for whether he is racist too is on the right track.
The question that leaps to my mind is why would that idea have occurred to her in the first place?
Sounds romantically intended with some really fucked up and distorted ideas mixed in. I’ll take as given that she doesn’t actually hold any of the racism she expressed as sincere beliefs. Part of you twigged that though she seemed to be trying to be nice in a really weird way, something seemed off and it is a bit off. If you imagine she mailed you a knife and a key to her house and said now you have the power to attack me and I’m vulnerable you’d probably see much more clearly and obviously how unromantic and off-putting and psychotic that is despite following a very similar logic.
In both these scenarios she’s putting her life in your hands to demonstrate trust, but there’s an implicit suggestion there that you would or could ever do something like that and only don’t because of your undying devotion. There’s a kind of twisted view of humanity there that that ruining someone’s life on purpose with kompromat is something people generally do to one another but for the power love to zovercome it. It’s sort of a red flag that she might think that way but really you know her better than any of us and also whether you think she’s good for you. That she decided this would be a good idea and a nice birthday gift is disturbing enough that it’s probably worth bringing up though. I think if it was me I’d probably express appreciation for the sentiment but also delete the video and tell them I had done so. Unfortunately you could never prove that you have deleted it so her messed up little game will always work in the manner that she intended but the extent to which this is something to worry about long term is something you can evaluate from her reaction to this news and your explanation of why it didn’t feel right. Sometimes people do dumb shit, especially when they think they’ve spotted an opportunity for comedy and can’t see their actions in a different light until after they’ve done the stupid thing. There’s a chance here for this stupid thing to be a memory between just the two of you that neither of you has to worry about again so long as you point out that it wasn’t as romantic as she thought it was and also delete whatever email or communication was used to send the video plus the video itself. If she’s able to feel a bit embarrassed and move on you’re probably fine, if she digs in and gets offended and tries to play similar fucked up games, then you might want to consider getting out before things escalate.
I think the crux of it will be, would she respect OP’s refusal to have that kind of power over her, and would she expect some sort of reciprocal act for some MAD outcome.
I’d wonder where she got ideas like that and find out if it’s an integral part of her life.
Relationships are no jokes. Neither is racism. Depending on how I feel about her, the video might leak. I would certainly not stay.
Big red flag to me.
Damn, remind me not to partner with you in a trust fall.
Like this has “here is a staged video of me as a proof/test of trust” and not “here is actual proof I’m a racist” because there would have been OTHER proof, racists aren’t that sneaky.
Your first reaction is “finally I have a chance to ruin this girl I love’s life and go FULL SCORCHED EARTH”
Fuck man, you’ve got to dial up your chill at least a skosh!
Seriously? That’s your take?
racists aren’t that sneaky.
What is it about being a racist that makes you unable to be sneaky? There are smart racists and there are dumb racists. There are all kinds of racists.
the video might leak.
That’s a little much. Such poor taste she deserves a criminal record?
Leaving works though for sure. Can do the favor of explaining why too.
She is treating the relationship and trust as transactional. No bueno.
