Being able to just simply move on from something as easily.

  • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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    7 days ago

    I have ADHD. Anyone telling you it is a super power is either lying or has a drastically different experience with it than I do.

    • Nexy@lemmy.sdf.org
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      6 days ago

      Its a super power in battle/reaction situations. In all aplicable areas of modern age, its a nightmare.

      • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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        6 days ago

        Nope. Absolutely not. That is your experience with it. Not mine. It’s a disability. Please don’t describe my experience with a disability as a super power.

        • Nexy@lemmy.sdf.org
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          6 days ago

          I say because I have ADHD too. My reaction are more thoughtful and cold in stress situations like theft assaults or accidents are way better that neurotypical ones (I’m from latinamerica so they are very common). But I have so much problems to do normal things daily and they are ruining my life.

            • sacredbirdman@lemmy.ml
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              6 days ago

              I have ADHD too and in those few high stress / life or death situations I’ve been in, I suddenly felt super calm and focused while some other people were just screaming. I read somewhere that people with ADHD are overrepresented in first responders and similar jobs and I can believe that.

              That being said, I very much agree with JackByDev. Yeah, ADHD is a disability. It has caused much pain and suffering for me and I wish I could get rid of it.

              • lowdude@discuss.tchncs.de
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                6 days ago

                Thanks for the insight, that’s pretty interesting. But yes, it does not sound like it would be worth the trade-offs, if one got the chance to choose

            • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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              6 days ago

              I don’t think it is. There are plenty of neurotypical people who have those qualities and plenty of people with ADHD who don’t. My wife has ADHD and wouldn’t fit that definition.

    • Kwakigra@beehaw.org
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      6 days ago

      Not a superpower. Thinking all moments of every single day, although exhausting, does make one significantly more experienced with thinking and how their mind works than those who can choose not to think most of the time though if untempered these thoughts are typically nonsense. It’s an advantage in many situations to be able to think at light speed while everyone else is panicking, but the burnout that comes from not being able to ever turn it off is pretty nasty. It’s different with different advantages and disadvantages. I personally wouldn’t change my mind to be different, but I wouldn’t recommend a mind like mine to someone who wouldn’t be able to handle it since I’m barely able to handle it myself with decades of experience.

      • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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        6 days ago

        That’s good for you, but don’t act like that’s the typical ADHD experience. There is literally no benefit to this for me. It’s a disability. There are so so so many neurotypical people who also meet the description of the advantages you’re talking about. It’s nothing unique to ADHD. And, that’s great for you, I’m glad you’re able to find what you believe to be a silver lining, but don’t say it’s some sort of universal advantage of ADHD. My wife has ADHD and definitely doesn’t have that aspect.

        • Kwakigra@beehaw.org
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          6 days ago

          One thing I’ve learned about ADHD is that since we can’t control our thinking, we are each so divergent from the typical experience that we have little in common even with one another aside from common symptoms and the obvious reaction to those symptoms. My experience is not at all to invalidate anyone else’s experience. That being said, it’s very likely that the reason you are with your wife is at least partly due to how she is, and how she is is heavily influenced by her adhd. There are likely things you love about your wife that are directly influenced by her adhd or her life experience living with adhd.

          • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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            5 days ago

            If my wife and/or I were to magically lose our ADHD I firmly believe we’d stay in love. We’ve been together for 16 years and married for 10. I’ve been with them for over half of my life. We’ve both drastically changed from the people we were to the people we are now. Neither of us would likely fall for the other if we were meeting our past selves (assuming age isn’t a factor, obviously lol).

    • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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      7 days ago

      What up insomnia gang? Coming to you love from the bed at 6 AM. Too late to fall back asleep, too early to get up.

  • Zozano@lemy.lol
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    6 days ago

    Maintain eye contact.

    Shit makes me so uncomfortable. Look at me all you want, that’s fine. I’m going to look at that plant.

    If you want to look at that plant, I’ll look at you, but you can’t have both.

    Unless we both look at the plant. That’s fine too.

  • absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz
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    6 days ago

    Having the ability to see images in my mind. Sounds like a cool ability, not sure if it would be a curse though.

    • Baguette@lemm.ee
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      6 days ago

      Sounds like you have aphantasia. Wish more research was done on it, I only learned about it when I was randomly talking with my friends and one of them said they couldn’t imagine an image.

      I’m stuck with the ability to imagine complete scenes but not be able to draw what I imagine haha

    • Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone
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      6 days ago

      One time I did mushrooms and thought about an apple and I kinda saw it and was amazed. I’ve never been able to do it again though

      • absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz
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        6 days ago

        I was in hospital earlier in the year for surgery, they gave me ketamine afterwards…started seeing shit.

        It was weird.

        Hated it for the dissociative effect; but the seeing shit for a few hours after was strange, but ok.

  • Thelsim@sh.itjust.works
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    7 days ago

    I wish I could actually listen to what is being said to me for more than 5 minutes. Instead of having my attention drift off and me starting to daydream about something the other said.

  • Murple_27@lemmy.ml
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    7 days ago

    I wish I could have a baseline functional understanding of human interaction & relationships.

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      6 days ago

      As someone who transitioned from a deeply introverted anxious young adult with a persistent stammer, to a relatively outgoing person who is capable of clear communication, the secret is caring less and forgetting that you exist.

      There are steps though to get there:

      • Look at a person. De-age them back to when they were a shy or excited or inquisite toddler. That’s their base model. Anything built on that is just extra wisdom or fluff or bluster.
      • Talk to people like you would an innocent child, just use more grownup words.
      • Cheat questions:
        • “How was your day today” “what did you get up to” “hows your upcoming week looking”
      • Cheat responses:
        • “nice!” “well done!” “oh damn”
      • Cheat moves:
        • Eye contact. Look at people in the eye, then look away when describing something, then look them in the eye again.
        • Nodding: Make nodding gestures as they respond to you
        • Hands: Gesture with your hands when you describe something.
        • Smile: You don’t need to smile, but it helps. You can look away when you do it.
      • Listening helps but is top-tier and isn’t a requirement
      • Learn to build connections through topics though. If they’re talking about cats, remember your dog.
      • Signal it’s your turn: I suck at this and wait for gaps, which usually means I forget what I wanted to say, but you can signal in other ways
        • Yes: Finger gun and a nod whilst inhaling
        • No: Polite laugh and a head shake whilst exhaling
        • Random: if someone won’t stop, they need to be stopped. Just jump in with your crab story, who cares.

      This should hopefully get you along the way to forgetting that you exist in a conversation, and it should become second nature after a while.

  • Professorozone@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    I thought I had one but I read everyone else’s first and after each one thought, yeah that would be good. Thank you for making me fully grasp just how inadequate I am. Just sign me up for any of these.

  • orcrist@lemm.ee
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    6 days ago

    Just because it looks like people moved on easily doesn’t mean they actually moved on easily.

    • lowdude@discuss.tchncs.de
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      6 days ago

      Afaik no one has ever been proven to have photographic memory (e.g. being able to remember random dots on an image is used as a test, if memory serves right). So for the most part it is just a nice little character trait for movies and the likes.

      I noticed that a lot of people I know are significantly better at remembering some things, in this case numbers, but worse at other parts (e.g. conversations). So oftentimes its also a matter of what exactly you are good and bad at remembering.

      Depending on the context, it also comes with experience. Think of games like chess, poker, etc. Experienced players are often able to replay an entire match, which in large part comes from their experience and the context of the many games they’ve played. If you met the same people in their first few matches, that ability would probably have been a lot less developed (if that makes sense).

      No scientific backing on these statements, it’s just based on my personal experience and impressions.