Ted Talker at lunch: “Now, what if I told you… that right now as we speak… I would like the Filet O’ Fish…”

There would also be people with the last name masturbator

Which is a perfect reason for this to happen!

Poor little bastards going to school with their mum’s second name, like Derek Camwhore and Abigail Onlyfans

I mean, “Excel” sounds like a cool last name, but it would be depressing AF if I had it as my own.

I’m Sam Softwaretester. Please put me out of my misery.

You should read “Jennifer Government “

They take their last names from where they work. Hack Nike, Bill NRA etc

"I was in the war, you know. Gunner in the air force. I shot down 27 enemy planes, but do they call me ‘Richard Gunner’? No…

"After the war I went into construction. Give some wood and nails, and I’ll build you the nicest of houses! But do they call me ‘Richard Carpenter’? No…

"Then I went into politics. Spent my time speaking truth to power, ruffled some feathers, and was well-liked, but do they call me 'Honest Richard? No…

“But sick one little cock, and…”