I feel for this post because I’ve been told by bosses that men aren’t used to people like me. They’d get used to it if women weren’t told to dumb themselves down for the poor boys raised on some fabricated ideal of manliness. I don’t like to think of traits or talents being gendered because it’s exclusionary.
When I go in to buy computer parts I still get asked if I’m sure that’s what my boyfriend wants? I never mention a boyfriend, they just assume. I don’t ask for help in hardware stores because nine times out of ten it’s gonna start a whole argument with someone who thinks they know my project better than I do.
I see the same thing happening to guys, saw a dude at a yarn shop get asked if he was gettin supplies for his wife. That sucks, right? It sucks to feel less like who you are because of what you like. That shit keeps up the gender divide because not everyone has the energy to risk feeling a little worse to do the things they enjoy.
So yeah, I’ll never describe an activity as typically male or female.
As it turns out, the things that make a good man are the same things that make a good person.
I love cooking and baking. Whenever there’s a family get together I try to make something whether it’s a full dish or some sweet bread for desert.
None of the other guys have ever complimented me on any if it, they all compliment my wife on ‘her’ delicious food. She corrects them and they say nothing, it turns into a weird situation for some reason and it seems like they’re embarrassed to admit they like something made by a man? It’s weird
The toxic masculinity on my wife’s side is absolutely crazy and really sad.
That sucks. Hard to be yourself around people when navigating their fragile beliefs is like playing epistemological fiddlesticks. Weird when most executive chefs are male.
I donno the answer. Make 'em some pink sparkle shortbread infused with whiskey and bacon and watch their minds implode.
I won’t bore you with repetition so I’ll just link.
I think we mostly agree, doing the stuff you want to do in life should not be stifled by your gender. But in the OP and in this thread I get the feeling that “a man likes to feel like a man” automatically carries with it the implication that others should accommodate (by for example dumbing themselves down in order not to damage fragile masculinity as you said). I don’t see that implication at all. Is there some cultural context I’m missing here? Is this something you would say in a context where fragile masculinity is in danger of being harmed?
The last question is a leading one and poorly framed, so I won’t answer it. This is a thread about two comments on a discussion, we don’t know the context of what came before or any relationship these two people had.
But yeah, in my circles of women who are just fucking tired, we’ve all been told we gotta let men be men, and that’s somehow our responsibility. So that’s the context, we hear that phrase in a different tone than men do.
Nothing’s wrong with feeling like a man.
I feel for this post because I’ve been told by bosses that men aren’t used to people like me. They’d get used to it if women weren’t told to dumb themselves down for the poor boys raised on some fabricated ideal of manliness. I don’t like to think of traits or talents being gendered because it’s exclusionary.
When I go in to buy computer parts I still get asked if I’m sure that’s what my boyfriend wants? I never mention a boyfriend, they just assume. I don’t ask for help in hardware stores because nine times out of ten it’s gonna start a whole argument with someone who thinks they know my project better than I do.
I see the same thing happening to guys, saw a dude at a yarn shop get asked if he was gettin supplies for his wife. That sucks, right? It sucks to feel less like who you are because of what you like. That shit keeps up the gender divide because not everyone has the energy to risk feeling a little worse to do the things they enjoy.
So yeah, I’ll never describe an activity as typically male or female.
As it turns out, the things that make a good man are the same things that make a good person.
I love cooking and baking. Whenever there’s a family get together I try to make something whether it’s a full dish or some sweet bread for desert.
None of the other guys have ever complimented me on any if it, they all compliment my wife on ‘her’ delicious food. She corrects them and they say nothing, it turns into a weird situation for some reason and it seems like they’re embarrassed to admit they like something made by a man? It’s weird
The toxic masculinity on my wife’s side is absolutely crazy and really sad.
That sucks. Hard to be yourself around people when navigating their fragile beliefs is like playing epistemological fiddlesticks. Weird when most executive chefs are male.
I donno the answer. Make 'em some pink sparkle shortbread infused with whiskey and bacon and watch their minds implode.
That’s not a bad idea. I’ll tell them I cooked it on the grill while smoking a cigar so no ones feelings get hurt.
I won’t bore you with repetition so I’ll just link.
I think we mostly agree, doing the stuff you want to do in life should not be stifled by your gender. But in the OP and in this thread I get the feeling that “a man likes to feel like a man” automatically carries with it the implication that others should accommodate (by for example dumbing themselves down in order not to damage fragile masculinity as you said). I don’t see that implication at all. Is there some cultural context I’m missing here? Is this something you would say in a context where fragile masculinity is in danger of being harmed?
The last question is a leading one and poorly framed, so I won’t answer it. This is a thread about two comments on a discussion, we don’t know the context of what came before or any relationship these two people had.
But yeah, in my circles of women who are just fucking tired, we’ve all been told we gotta let men be men, and that’s somehow our responsibility. So that’s the context, we hear that phrase in a different tone than men do.