Brocycle I gotta say social anxiety is f’in hard if you go to any gathering. Kudos to your friend for asking for help and at least showing up. Most people just make up some excuse why they can’t come, or they awkwardly come in, stand in a corner somewhere or cling to anyone they already know all night.
If you get into this situation, best thing you can do is introduce your buddy to someone they might get along with and get them started. If the conversation gets going, you can just go. If the convo dries up, they’ll find you again.
I’m in the “make up an excuse and don’t show up” camp. If I went to a friend’s family gathering and my friend tried to pawn me off on a relative with a conversation starter, I’d probably have to leave. I don’t go anywhere without an exit plan, and I’ve been known to dip out of restaurant waiting areas because it was too crowded to be comfortable while I wait. Last year I skipped a concert for my favorite band that I paid extra to get the VIP passes for just because I couldn’t even think about being in the crowd. Social anxiety is a real problem, and I appreciate you giving some input on how to help others deal with it. I’ll add by saying that if you know a friend has a hard time with it, be upfront and ask them if they are comfortable with the situation BEFORE the get together. Let them know if you will be there with them the whole time, or if they will be flying solo. I don’t not want to go to social gatherings, I just need to have my ins and my outs sorted before I dive headfirst into one.
Therapy is not some magical fix. It usually involves learning how to cope healthily and to tell the people who are close to you what you need to be more comfortable in stressful situations.
That’s not a solution in that situation, though. You can’t pack them off to a therapist when they’re at your door trying to join in. The friend showed up and asked for help getting involved, so for that day help them try to have a good time and then you can do the long term stuff tomorrow
That is true, but it is a solution to not get in that situation again. Also due to the nature of the disorder you can’t repeat “therapy helps” often enough.
Brocycle I gotta say social anxiety is f’in hard if you go to any gathering. Kudos to your friend for asking for help and at least showing up. Most people just make up some excuse why they can’t come, or they awkwardly come in, stand in a corner somewhere or cling to anyone they already know all night.
If you get into this situation, best thing you can do is introduce your buddy to someone they might get along with and get them started. If the conversation gets going, you can just go. If the convo dries up, they’ll find you again.
I’m in the “make up an excuse and don’t show up” camp. If I went to a friend’s family gathering and my friend tried to pawn me off on a relative with a conversation starter, I’d probably have to leave. I don’t go anywhere without an exit plan, and I’ve been known to dip out of restaurant waiting areas because it was too crowded to be comfortable while I wait. Last year I skipped a concert for my favorite band that I paid extra to get the VIP passes for just because I couldn’t even think about being in the crowd. Social anxiety is a real problem, and I appreciate you giving some input on how to help others deal with it. I’ll add by saying that if you know a friend has a hard time with it, be upfront and ask them if they are comfortable with the situation BEFORE the get together. Let them know if you will be there with them the whole time, or if they will be flying solo. I don’t not want to go to social gatherings, I just need to have my ins and my outs sorted before I dive headfirst into one.
Tbh best you can do is therapy, not masking/coping.
Therapy is not some magical fix. It usually involves learning how to cope healthily and to tell the people who are close to you what you need to be more comfortable in stressful situations.
Still sounds super helpful.
For social anxiety you’d usually do cognitive behavioral therapy and your therapist would tell you to go to your friend’s party.
That’s not a solution in that situation, though. You can’t pack them off to a therapist when they’re at your door trying to join in. The friend showed up and asked for help getting involved, so for that day help them try to have a good time and then you can do the long term stuff tomorrow
That is true, but it is a solution to not get in that situation again. Also due to the nature of the disorder you can’t repeat “therapy helps” often enough.