or wood chipper

i’ll take two

DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN REPEAT DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN

THIS MESSAGE IS FOR ALL RESIDENTS OF PLANET EARTH

NO ONE NEEDS YOU TO BIRTH THEM

ABORT. ABORT. ABORT.

WE HAVE ENOUGH PEOPLE, THE PLANET IS BURNING, THEY WILL NOT LEAD GOOD LIVES. IT’S NOT WORTH IT. PULL OUT BEFORE YOU NUT HOLY CHRIST PLEASE DO NOT HAVE KIDS

lol fucking obliterated

Thank you

This one is missing all of the penguins being insufferable people, in both frames.

His shirt could have said something misogynistic and she would have found something else compliment. She’s not kissing him because of his shirt. She’s kissing him because he’s a tall able-bodied cisgendered straight good-looking bearded white guy.

Awful kerning

(Kerning is spacing between letters)

I am exhausted by a constant deluge of this.

Obviously Evil Person is doing Obvious Evil! Half of America supports him

I don’t want to know anymore. I just want to turn it all off.

Schõn Shon ShAnne Shtan (the t is silent) Scheahn Shean Sean

Yes

Body: you’re so thirsty. dehydrated. tongue sticking to your mouth, so thiiiiirsty. go pee eight times before falling asleep and evacuate every fluid ounce of fucking water in your body for no reason thiiiiiiirsty

Fight or flight response activated!

But the danger is gone, what do you want me to d-

FIGHT OR FLIGHT THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

Thanks brain!

Hey can you let me forget that cringey thing I did at summer camp? I’m in agony and it’s been thirty years

Me: We haven’t evolved much in 800 thousand years. Can you please make me stop craving sugar?

Brain: Do drugs, get mad for no reason

Me: what

Brain: Here’s a dream about having sex with Barney the Dinosaur

Is this a Terrance and Phillip reference

“I’m 14 and don’t speak English! Please don’t turn me into an unwilling concubine and forbid me from seeing my parents ever again!”

The fate of this Pocahontas is far far more merciful than the fate of the real one.

No wars were won in an enclosed space

There’s a whole section of pornhub dedicated to it, if you get bored