It was that day that Dave learned what a constrictor is

“I was the killer all along! I was testing your abilities as a father!”

“Shaun! Shaun! Shaaaaaaaun!”

Tag yourself, I’m rip.

Oysters Rockefeller here has provided us with genu-ine turkey dogs!

Nuclear power is just boiling water

See, I don’t understand acts of god as it pertains to insurance. Acts of god are unforeseen, unavoidable accidents. What is insurance for if not literally that exact situation?

WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!

To say nothing of cockroaches…

Nuclear power is just boiling water

The enshittification will continue until morale improves.

They both were

It’s a joke about checkers. When you get a piece to the end of the board, that piece gets “kinged” by placing a second piece on top of it, usually one you’ve lost during the game. (That piece can then move both forwards and backwards.)

I like vampires in the Pratchett universe, who often see human hunting as a sport and leave religious symbols, stakes, and garlic around the castle to level the playing field. (Not to mention the black ribbon society, the vampire equivalent to AA.)

Luck of the Fryish, I think, right after Fry declares his bad luck is over and then slips and falls into the sewer.

Nah, good guess but Bender flushes himself in that one and Leela and Fry go looking for him. I think this is Luck of the Fryish, when they went looking for Fry’s seven-leaf clover.

*Claims to have killed, having been directly refuted by other members of the team

You just yadda yaddad over the best part!

Look at me. I’m the banana now.

Source?