Nah! They’re used to dollar store candies, so I just tell them it’s a candy bar. They love the scented ones, a real treat.

I knew my marriage didn’t have much left in it when for my birthday my wife gifted me a bag of candles that had been half eaten by the kids.

I’m not seeing it here, but the other ironic subtext is that Goliath was a Philistine, now known as a Palestinian (same root word).

… it’s hideous.

A longer digestive system is necessary to properly break down plant cellulose. This is why some small herbivores are copraphagic (eat their own shit, like rabbits): it takes two times through to extract adequate nutrients.

Oh wow, you’re posting memes now!

Stahp! You’re too much!