Be careful: If you take this advice and want to become a sexy underwear model, you WILL receive a stern email from HR.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a human should be able to fly.

But you’re not correcting me. I am using a rule correctly and you don’t like it. You’re not being helpful, you’re being entitled.

I was in the middle of a monologue, and you tried to divebomb the BBEG. That’s highly disrespectful, but I’m accommodating and give you a chance to succeed using the existing rules. It doesn’t work out the way you want, so you tell me not to use those rules because they’re dumb. And you call ME disrespectful for calling you out?

There’s a lot of things I can say about this. To summarise:

• Just because WotC wants you to use a new product doesn’t mean the old product is outdated.
• If WotC supports the Pinkertons, I don’t support them. But have fun letting your morals fall apart so you can consume product.
• The Tasha’s rule expands on a rule from the DMG. If the rule were to be updated, it would be in the DMG, not the PHB.
• Most tables don’t have the DMG either.
• The new PHB doesn’t have most subclasses. The only reason stuff was omitted was because there wasn’t enough space or time to add them in.

All of that hardly matters, because you responded to a DM ruling by saying “nope”. No shit we’re incompatible. At the VERY least, I want my players to respect me.

No matter what the real world laws of physics are, the GM is the final arbiter of the rules. That’s not an ego thing. That’s just how it works. Everyone’s roleplaying game works the same, even if they have different rulings.

Now, let’s quickly picture this scene where the GM instead rolls 14. The BBEG is making his speech, then a shadow falls over him, he looks up, and gets crushed by a brontosaurus. He’s resiliant, having taken only half the fall damage, but he’s knocked prone and at a serious disadvantage as everyone rolls initiative.

Would anyone complain about the optional rule being used? Would anyone argue there should be no shadow because “the sun wouldn’t be there” or “I hadn’t transformed yet”? And if they decided to make that check to transform right before impact and succeeded, would they complain about the high DC due to the high speed?

I don’t think they would. I think they’re only complaining because the GM didn’t give them what they wanted. They don’t care about the game, they just care about getting their own way.

I agree. I am not compatible with that playstyle.

To continue the quote, physics are what I allow them to be.

Going by the pure rules, you don’t have enough time to wildshape. You just splatter. I’m being kind by giving you the opportunity at all.

First of all, if I’m the DM, you don’t get to tell me not to use a rule.

Second of all, there will not be a situation where I use the 2024 ruleset. The 2014 ruleset is still around, and still usable, and anyone calling it outdated is an idiot.

Third, this is the only official rule given for this situation. If we don’t use it, there is no rule for falling on someone and we resolve it however I like. And since you just tried to interrupt my monologue, I’m not inclined to be generous.

This isn’t a physics sim. This is a roleplaying game. Physics are what I allow them to be and it’s funnier for falling creatures to have a drop shadow.

Nope. The rules for falling on a creature don’t factor in size, except for if it knocks the target prone. The check is DC15 to dodge.

At terminal velocity? You’re gonna need to make a damn good check to time that right.

“Okay, so he gets to make a dexterity saving throw… That’s a 16, so he manages to sidestep you and you take the full damage. …No, he doesn’t have disadvantage, you made a huge shadow above him, he knew you were coming. Anyway, he continues his monologue, using your actions as an example of the foolishness of humanity.”

Can we also note that, to paraphrase, he tried to deny their adulthood before stating his sexual desire for them?

Jack Horner did that in Puss in Boots 2: “Excalibur! I couldn’t get this rock off of it, but it’s still pretty cool, right?”

I’m making a campaign set in fantasy Vegas, so I took the floorplan of a casino and made it into a map of the city.

Why would a campaign not need a tabaxi journalist?

(I love when I get to post these joke chains)

How do you get 4 elephants in a mini cooper? -Two in the front, two in the back.

How do you get 2 whales in a mini cooper? -Take the M4 and go over the Severn bridge.

How can you tell there’s an elephant in your fridge? -Footprints in the custard.

How can you tell there’s 2 elephants in your fridge? -You can hear them giggle when the light goes out.

How can you tell there’s 3 elephants in your fridge? -You can’t quite get the door shut.

How can you tell there’s 4 elephants in your fridge? -There’s a mini cooper outside.