Been there once. Never set foot on land. Close enough. No regrets.

Yeah, because corporate charity is super regulated and never ever misused.

I’ve been shaving my head and my balls with safety razors for like 15 years. Get some nice soap like sandalwood, cedar, lavender, frankincense, sasquatch or whatever name they’re calling it these days and make a lather on your body in the shower. A lather from actual soap is critical to avoiding nicks, cuts, and especially razor burn. Use a new blade and gently drag the razor across your skin. Use short strokes, not long passes. Clean the razor. Add more lather when needed. Don’t press hard or move the razor sideways or diagonally. That’s how you cut yourself. Watch out and take care for any bumps and rounded corners, like warts, the back of your jaw, or any sagittal crest you may have. Hold the razor with one hand and use the other to feel for hair and smoothness. Make a pass with the grain and another against the grain. Reapply lather between passes.

Maybe before you begin, shave a little hair off your arm or leg to test the angle you hold the razor. The sensation of individual hairs being cut will be tactile and satisfying. When it’s right, it’ll feel right.

Get a sharps container for used blades. It’ll take a lifetime to fill. Blades only cost like a dime, so just treat yourself and use a new one every time.

It ain’t too difficult. Just be gentle, take short and slow strokes, feel your way around, and don’t shave dry skin. You may be surprised how easy it is. They’re called safety razors for a reason.

No, they intend to kill OSHA.

When monsters arise, you fight them. Not because you can win, but because they must be fought.

Trust me, we got screens there too now.

But we do get good excuses to smash em now and then. Oopsie doodles.