The Montgomery Scott model of productivity.

Castle of Not

Cursed castle. Everything within it can only be defined by what it is not.

[Players meet the beautiful princess.]

“A hideous prince does not stand before you.”

[Players find a chest of gold.]

“You have not found a rotten sack full of live crabs.”

Sounds like something that would need to be secured by the Antimemetics Division.

Pretty straightforward misunderstanding.

And Paula Abdul did the choreography for the dancing girls!

Know what I love about Rockwell? The hands. Artists always talk about how hard it is to draw hands. Rockwell, that dude could draw hands, and he knew it. He drew hands in this picture, through the doorway, when there was absolutely no need to, because he could. And if you look at a bunch of his pictures, he doesn’t just draw hands, he draws hands doing complicated things, making complex gestures, gripping fiddly little objects, he draws old people with wrinkled skin and funky joints on their hands… he was goddamn good at drawing hands and he was not shy about showing off his hand-drawing talent.

People calling him an illustrator and not an artist are just jealous of his hands.

Or if you’re in for a trashy good time, The Running Man starring Arnold Schwarzenegger!

“Sewing dissent against Sauron”

I think we can all agree that, as a team, collectively, the Istari did a great job!

–Saruman the White

Trump Admin: Cap interest rates at 10%, but also we repeal the thirteenth amendment.

Democrats: No! What is wrong with you?!

Republicans: DEMONRATS WON’T WORK WITH US TO CAP INTEREST RATES AND ALSO THEY DRINK SMOOTHIES MADE OF BABIES!

Republican Voting Base: [Thunderous applause. 90% voter turnout. 99% voter loyalty.]

Everyone Else: I dunno, both parties seem the same. [Sub-50% voter turnout. Interfactional backstabbing intensifies.]

Put on some halfway decent headphones and try out the virtual barbershop.

There are people who, disturbed by “big government” today and its tendency to curb the advantages they might gain if their competitiveness were allowed free flow, demand “less govern- ment.” Alas, there is no such thing as less government, merely changes in government. If the libertarians had their way, the distant bureaucracy would vanish and the local bully would be in charge. Personally, I prefer the distant bureaucracy, which may not find me, over the local bully, who certainly will. And all historical precedent shows a change to localism to be for the worse.

—Isaac Asimov, Nice Guys Finish First, collected in The Sun Shines Bright, 1981

Mirrored:

No, I took it

Dotally tormal nude.

It occurs to me that, apart from their egos being too big to share one biosphere, Khan and Lex Luthor would get along like peas and carrots.

No one will ever find our red-headed girl with a dappling of freckles on her nose and cheeks attractive!