I don’t actually mind this IF the person parks in the back of the lot. I get that they don’t want their precious hot wheels monster truck to get dinged, but as long as they park in the back of the lot where there’s no other cars, it’s fine. However, this person is clearly an asshole as there’s handicapped spots next to them, so they’re right up front taking spaces. It should be legal to vandalize their vehicle if a person does this.

ProTip: you can easily deflate a car’s tires by placing a small pebble in the valve cap before screwing it back on

Four of the best parking spots, too, judging by the handicap spaces nearby.

My move lately has been to stand their windshield wipers up. You’re not doing anything criminally damaging to their vehicle, but in my experience, anyone this self-important will be really bothered by the thought of some random person putting their dirty hands on their precious baby.

My favorite thing is to just leave a note that says, “I’m sorry about the scratch.”

Well, that guy is clearly a massive prick, but let’s also talk about how fucking ugly that truck is. I don’t know when everyone decided that land yacht pickup trucks were the bees knees, but they’re not. They’re just dumb and so. goddamn. ugly.

In the old days, a friend of mine would carry some paper(?) stickers(?) (labels?) that said something like “I park like an asshole” and superglue it to one of the windows of someone parked like this.

If you wanted to be nicer, you could get some proper pre-printed stickers (most online print/sticker shops should have them) and place them. Wouldn’t cause any damage but would maybe make them think about it a little bit.

I also saw a post recently where someone replaced all the tire valve caps with bright orange or pink little dick shaped caps. This would cause more inconvenience and embarrassment, but not be damaging or dangerous.

Keying this car is a moral imperative.

Don’t be too hard on them, maybe this was all that was available when they pulled up.