It says, “if you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator.” OVER AND OVER AND OVER! AND THEN THE NOISE BEGINS! OH GOD, THE NOISE!
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"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat.
To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now."
“It’s the voice of my uncle Roy, calling from beyond the grave – but he just keeps asking me to help fix his computer! Stop haunting meeee!”