I read this wrong as “Gilbert Gottfried never got to play a Ferengi Therapist” and now I’m double sad.
One missing period created a wonderful visual.
Gilbert Gottfried as a Ferengi counselor on a ship stuck further out than Voyager. Everyone goes insane and eats each other within a week.
“I understand that you once saw your mother wearing clothing. That must have been very traumatic for you…”
Needs to be more shouty.
“I UNDERSTAND that one time you saw YOUR MOTHER wearing CLOTHING. The HORROR of it. THE DRAPING FABRIC. THE DELICATE EMBROIDERY. The WAY it BUNCHED UP AROUND HER. I cannot begin to FATHOM how DISGUSTING it must have been for you. TO SEE YOUR MOTHER THERE in CLOTHING. This is not the kind of thing I like to imagine. The FOLDS and GUSSETS and BUTTON HOLES. Imagine your mother PUTTING HER CLOTHING ON, thrusting her STUBBY FINGERS through her BUTTON HOLES as she DRAPES HERSELF IN FABRIC. And when she was done she LOOKED IN A MIRROR…”
But he did play God on Smiling Friends, which is almost as good.
He’d be a recurring character that you would see in commercials while on Feranginar.
“MEN! ARE YOUR LOBES NOT AS PERKY AS THEY USED TO BE?”
Seriously, he would have made an incredible nagus, or just quark’s father brought back by the prophets or something.
Or Cousin Gaila instead of the guy who played him.
I’ll take Things I also Regret for $400.
