Do I bring my future knowledge? I could have totally stopped that kid from getting into Harambe’s enclosure

Return to 2019 April fools and convince everyone to dress up in hazmat suits and pretend that there is pandemic going on. Oh… wait, I have already done that. (Sadly I lacked social skills and I was alone in that prank)

But with power of time travel I would not fail this time.

I could totally not have picked up on the social cues that everyone else does and told putin that his idea was not a good idea

Let me tell you something. I once had a chance to buy one of those giant ass snickers bars. It was designed by engineers to be eaten as a group activity, but I had a theory I could just eat it, and screw everyone else. I was young at the time, but sometimes youth makes “good” choices that turn out horrible. I didn’t buy that giant bar. I regret it. I regret that I’ll never be able to chonk out. Chonk out like a mad man. No. Now you can’t even buy them any more. What was once a dream, is now ash. What is left to do now? Eat a salad!? WHY DID I MISS MY OPPORTUNITY OH LORD!!!

Take out the largest loan I can today, bring that money back to 2014 when bitcoin crashed to 50 bucks each, sell in 2017 when it was around 19k, buy in mid 2019 when it was 10k, hold until it peaked in 2021 and cash out. If you started with 10k and did that, you could be worth over 26 million dollars today. You could be worth even more than that if you managed to leverage more loans and didnt screw up the timeline too much.

I would have recommended that Chris Rock wear this to the Oscars: