This might sound harsh but honestly atleast my life is really underwhelming, no matter what I try.

I have a wife, 2 dogs, an own house but a decently large debt for the house so I actually dont own it yet and a job I love (nightshift nurse)

It feels like I fckd everything up.

10 years ago my wife and I were in South East Asia, traveling,… now? I have to take care of the house, pay my credit, work

Its not the same going to Thailand only 2 weeks a year. I know many ppl cant afford it but I need that escape.

While my life isnt actually bad it just is bland though. I dont do anything other than play Video games, take care of house and dogs, watch movies, cook stuff…

But where is the excitement?

I quit going to gym, I think I should do that but I catch myself esther staring at the wall than searching for a nearby gym.

As a night nurse I have so much time in the day I would like to barista at a cafe but Im too scared to start that.

I would like to play Board games but my friends rather drink alcohol in Clubs and the next DND or Boardgame groups are 40 minutes by car.

See hpw confused I am I cant even structure this post properly.

I know money isn everything but Id travel the world, give my house away to rent, buy a new smaller house in a few years, do more sport, … somehow it feels life is behind a huge paywall and I have enough to have a decent life.

If I go to Thailand next year I have thoughts in my head like: “This money could be used to pay credit debt instead, or yard stuff, kitchen supply,…” With money I could enjoy it more

  • Beacon@fedia.io
    0·
    4 days ago

    Mild to moderate depression. Pretty classic signs. Not getting enjoyment out of nice things (anhedonia), tiredness, difficulty getting yourself to do things even when you might like doing them, having difficulty thinking clearly, etc. These are all very common symptoms of depression.