I hope to remember to say this out loud every time I drink water

Narrator: it happened again

Now we know how he went blind

OP has a baby in their head

“Time for bed! Who’s gonna belay me?”

Riding the laundry basket off the roof would be more comparable

Plain Jane? @OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca

Uh, actually, it’s fish poopoos and peepees

Hey now, you’re an all star

I don’t care how they’re picked, you generally shouldn’t feed peppers and spices that you’d use in chili. And never onions, garlic, or grapes regardless of the intended application.

These rules come from the same people who put a slice of cheese on apple pie. “It adds a savory quality to all the sweetness.” Fuck off, it adds the taste of cheese to apple pie. People also like mint and chocolate, maybe you should eat some M&Ms coated in Vicks vaporub

Chili is steaming dog food with too many spices and onions for dogs to eat. If you think your chili tastes better with beans or even cinnamon, then get down with your bad self. Anyone who tells you otherwise is welcome to not eat your chili.

“Syrup doesn’t belong on waffles/french toast”
“Cookies shouldn’t have raisins”
“You shouldn’t put butter on your tortillas”
Fuck all y’all, I’mma eat my food how it tastes good and you can maybe chime in once you got a show on the food network

^I’m a Texan who will eat your chili with or without beans and I approve this message^

“Temporarily closed”

I’m sorry, friend. You didn’t deserve to be called that…

Demon wranglers

That’s fucking hilarious. I used to get piles of Archie comic books before going to summer camp and a few of them were oddly religious. But the stories and references were so confusingly ridiculous that I thought they were religious satire.

You might wanna narrow your scope on that wish or else you’re gonna get some early homosapien fetish/murder info.

I’d give you gold, but all I’ve got is lead and a particle accelerator. Good luck!

The gender triple point, aka gender superposition, is where a gender can be calculated and estimated, but not observed. Attempting to observe the gender changes it to a different state.

In layman’s terms, this is also called “mind your own fucking business, your obsession with my genitals is fucking weird and creepy.”

“What was Windows even doing for us?”

Providing minimal malware protection while being actual malware?

The officers have been reviewing security footage before beginning material investigations so that they can hit the ground running.