I have legitimately had a pedestrian hit me.

I was stopped and my car was in park waiting for a gas pump to open up. This idiot watching TikTok’s while walking proceeds to walk straight into the side of my car, and then started yelling at me.

I was in a parking spot too.

They asked if I had a degree in theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics.

For security reasons, I review every line of code before it’s executed on my machine.

Before I die, I hope to take my ‘93 dell optiplex out of its box and finally see what this whole internet thing is about.

50 years ago, the president advertising a product probably would have lead to investigations

Now it barely makes the evening news.

It can also end it if you eat it while taking critical medication.

Anything is possibly with glow in the dark paint and stencils.

RSS feed

Okay boomer

Just stab the cake with an actual broad head.

Arrows aren’t so expensive you can’t use them as a gag.

I like it.

I also liked new Coke, so maybe I’m just a fiend for synthetics

I only use synthetic when I change oil in our cars.

Lasts longer than the old school stuff, has better additives to keep engines running longer, idk why you would stick with natural oils unless your engine is quite old.

Less oil changes also means cheaper maintenance overall and less impact on the environment from used oil.

Oh no, a sales platform that takes a cut of revenue.

Valve isn’t a charity, and they provide very good services for what developers pay.

Devs don’t need to host download servers, they don’t need to staff customer service reps, they don’t have to set up banking infrastructure or worry at all about handling payments from hundreds of different banks across hundreds of countries.

It’s not like valve takes 30% and sits on it. They put that money to use.

Now a days you have add —no-preserve root after the laggy French pack to fully remove it.

I used to be good at games.

And then I got older, and now I have a job, and a family, and don’t take Ritalin recreationally.

I can’t keep up with the teenagers who spend 6 hours after school everyday playing, and that’s okay. I just play games that cater more to my time.

Last time I played call of duty I just alt-F4d and refunded after some guy kept zooming around the map and mowing me down with some busted SMG. Those games just aren’t for me anymore.

Gwindolyn from DS1 was a ladyboy, he also made an appearance in DS3, although has being vored by Aldrich.

And then Miquella from Elden Ring is a ladyboy that loves radahn, a big beefcake looking dude.

I’m pretty sure there was a ladyboy in DS2, although now I’ll be honest that I only played through that once.

People say this, but I still don’t believe it.

And no, that’s not just because I’m an American and love refrigeration. I’ve stayed in Mexico for extended periods and they do the same shit where eggs are left out at the stores.

And every time I’m down there, I play Russian roulette with fucking eggs. Making hotcakes? Crack every egg into a seperate bowl one at a time before adding to the batter, because 1 in 10 are fucking rancid. Making breakfast? Cook eggs one at a time because, again, it’s rancid egg roulette and I’d rather not throw out 2 perfectly good eggs because one is totally fucked.

And yes I know the trick of checking if they float in water, but that means I also have to waste water in a desert. I’d rather just use a separate bowl.

Just because you don’t have to refrigerate something right away doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. My eggs in America last for weeks in the fridge, and I never have to worry about ruining an entire cake or dish because I cracked a bomb of rancid shit into it.

Someone with a hand fetish got hired at from soft.

It used to just be the feet and ladyboys that were in every game. Now they’ve got hand monsters.

My cat would have just asked for a Costco chicken.

She likes cat food, and tuna in small amounts, but she will scream like she hasn’t eaten in weeks if she sees me with a Costco chicken.

I buy them to make tinga or chicken salad, and she usually gets the wings because the crying breaks my heart.

Most economists are in a cult.

I had the mentally exhausting fortune to have to care for an aging economist.

He was always watching some stock analysis or another, despite being long retired.

I asked him once how he reconciled the fact that our economy requires infinite growth, but there are a finite number of resources, people, and dollars to go around.

He insisted that there is always potential for infinite growth, as many companies no longer needed physical resources to trade. I pointed out that even digital companies like Netflix still had a finite number of possible customers and still relied on physical hardware that are made out of finite resources.

He just shrugged and said it’ll work itself out.

If you believe something, and someone points out how it’s not physically possible for that to be true, and you carry right on believing that same thing, you’re in a cult.

You must have moved their recently, because everyone knows Florida Man doesn’t comprehend mortal laws

You will own nothing and be happy.

You will watch the game play itself and be happy.

Drink verification can to continue enjoying this experience.