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“I hope she killed him”
See this is the fucking problem. If the dog vomited up a pair of dudes jocks and the guy said " I only wear boxers" commenting “I hope he beats the fuck out of her” would be an absolutely vile thing to say.
No domestic violence is ok.
But she didn’t say, “I hope she beats the fuck out of him”. You’re changing the words to make your point. If she had said that, it would also sound pretty vile.
Imagine she actually said the same thing in your hypothetical situation, “I hope he killed her.”
That would sound much more nefarious because men actually do kill women to a disproportionate degree. So when she says I hope she kills him, everyone pretty much assumes it’s hyperbole.
Your point is still taken, and it’d be better if neither sex promoted violence in any way.